Why the word “no” should get to you.

By Brian Sullivan

OK salespeople … say it with me. “I love the word ‘No!’” Again. “I love the word ‘No!’” Now try this one … “I love rejection!” Again. “I love rejection!”

The reality is, we hate the word “no.” We detest prospects who tell us “no.” In fact, we detest everything that the letters N and O stand for. We loathe no’s attitude, its appearance and everybody “no” associates with!

I hope you feel refreshed. Why? Because we finally said what salespeople actually feel. “No” just plain sucks. The sales gurus for years have been telling us to love “no,” adore rejection, worship objection and ignore the nervousness that sets in when a customer asks to “think about it.” Everybody expects us to go on with our life as if it all never happened. Well dangit, it’s tough, and it hurts!

Just because we hate it does not mean customers are going to stop doing it. It would be nice to anticipate and halt the sounds of rejection seconds before they were ever uttered, wouldn’t it? Perhaps a sudden, “Don’t say it Mr. Prospect. Don’t even go there.” And think how fun it would be to just put your hands over your ears like a 5-year-old child as you deliver a deafening, “Blah, Blah, Blah … I can’t hear yoooooooouuuuuuuuu.”

Well, as fun as this would be, this behavior probably wouldn’t help fatten the monthly commission check. While you need to peacefully coexist with the word “no,” feel free to despise it. In fact, hate it even more than you do now. I want you to hate it so much that you will do anything and everything to confront it. Notice how I said, “confront.” The “no” word is amazingly powerful and the rejection that comes with it is the single biggest destroyer of sales numbers and sales careers. Look it in the eye and say, “Bring it on!”

The reality is, while rejections come rolling in, you have two choices to make: You either wimp out and make excuses, or you let your loathing of rejection motivate you to work longer hours, hone selling skills, manage time better and enhance your creativity. Use that sick pit in your stomach whenever you lose an order to inspire you to come out fighting for new sales. Act like a wild animal that has been backed into a corner.

Now I understand that “keeping your chin up” might convince your boss and everybody around you that you are immune to rejection, but if I were your sales leader, I’d have more fun seeing you “burn” inside. I want to see the pain. Fume like Tiger Woods does after he just double bogeyed a hole. Pain and the need to never feel that pain again are remarkable motivators. Pain is often a signal that you could be doing things better — that you should be doing things better.

Isn’t that the purpose of pain? Think about it. Pain is a gift from above that prevents you from doing things that hurt. If you hold your hand over a burning flame, nature tells you that you’re nuts and that you’d better rethink what you’re doing. That’s what I want you to do with rejection. Use that pain to do your job even better. Don’t continue with your job following a lost sale or customer as if nothing ever happened. Instead, confront that rejection and analyze why it happened. Let the emotion be the fuel of curiosity. If you use it correctly, you will identify things about that last sales call, or that series of sales calls, that you can improve upon. Was it your preparation, your product knowledge, your follow-up?

After your analysis, make notes about your performance. Your mind is often full of “woulda, coulda, shouldas,” so make good notes and write them down as you build a resume of rejection. Before your next big sales call, pay a little visit to that periodical of sales punishment, relive the pain, review the learned lessons that the pain helped deliver, and use it to drive you to do everything possible to avoid that awful feeling.

There is a great quote by American Philosopher John Dewey (1859-1952) that sums it up nicely. He says: “Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks, learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.” Therefore, the next time you hear “no,” and the next time you fail to close the big sale, don’t just accept that rejection and move on. Instead, let that awful feeling motivate you to look for answers. You will find in the end that it will be your loathing of “no” that will deliver you to a lot more “Yeses.”

Sullivan is a member of the National Speakers Association and an internationally known expert on sales and leadership. He delivers high-energy, no-nonsense, interactive seminars on his PRECISE Selling Formula to companies looking to become famous in their industry. He has been quoted in magazines such as Selling Power and Business Week. Sullivan also hosts a talk radio show on Hot Talk 1510, based in Kansas City, Mo. The show, called “Entrepreneurial Moments,” is dedicated to helping business people of all types.